I Wont Be Bitter on Valentines Day...I Wont be Bitter on Valentines Day...I Wont be...Aw, F*ck it-Im a Little Bitter.

Hey Married Blogger friends!!!
I wouldnt read this blog unless you remember what it is like to be single on Valentines Day.

Actually, being single on Valentines Day isnt too bad at all. Ive been single on and off for most of my 20's. Ive been coupled up and single for Valentines Days and none of them have been too eventful. Then again, I'd never been in love before. So now, a Valentines Day "single" is not my problem. A Valentine's Day specifically without Mike is my problem. And...Im sure you are all sick of hearing about him. But Id get used to it. I dont see myself getting over this for quite a bit.


I actually LOOVEEE Valentine's Day. I am the QUEEN of pink and sparkle and hearts and love. Even single Ill plan dinners and drinks and cute outfits and give Valentines to every one I know. And this year I decided would be NO EXCEPTION. So Mike is gone...but life still goes on. So I planned the biggest, bestest, sparliest Valentine's Party my work girls has ever seen. I bough an obnoxious amount of Valentine's candy and decorations and was a control freak and gave all the girls a strict pink and heart dress code (which they hate, but they will do it for me. Love em.)

So here's the thing. I am a night shift Labor/Delivery nurse. Tonight I was "floated" over to the Pediatrics unit. I have a pretty easy assignment, just two babies with pnumonia. I didnt get any daytime sleep today in preperation of my 12 hour (7p-7a) shift so I expected to to fighting sleep the whole time. Instead of sleeping I spent a fun day with the new roomie shopping and cooking for my awesome Valentine's Day party at work tomorrow. But Im NOT fighting sleep. Im up...wide awake. With an anxiety stomach ache.

Im trying SO hard to not be a bitter Debbie Downer this Valentines Day. Im trying to not be that single girl who hates VDay. I LOVE IT. And Im more ANXIOUS than sad. I know Im not going to hear from Mike. I know Im not. I dont know why Im so anxious. But I know Im not going to get any sleep today. Whats with the anxiety? Shouldnt I just be SAD???

I dont know. I kinda wanna take a bath with my blowdryer rather than be without him today.

I know I have to get used to it and hopefully I get some credit for being a sparkly princess and throwing a party and making Vday cards for everyone...but this anxiety is really annoying me. I need a Valium or something. Good thing I work with all these Doctors. Lol.

Despite all that I hope all you married up people have a great VDay. Take this day to look at the man snoring next to you in bed and hold him so close. Fight the urge to be annoyed with him. Because there are some people, who as they remind you to hold him tight, are tearing up remembering when they used to hold the one they love and now they are nothing but a faint memory.

Happy VDAY everyone <3
XOXOXOXO
Lauren Ashli