Thursday, January 20, 2011


Dear Primary Care Provider,

Im sorry if I wasted your precious time waiting 30 days to see you, driving from out of town in an icy mess, and waiting in a freezing cold room 90 minutes past my appointment time. I didnt realize you could perform an assessment, formulate a cumulative treatment plan, and answer questions all within 90 seconds. My bad. Thanks for those 90 seconds of your brilliance. You'll be getting my $300 payment in the mail.

Your insignificant patient,


*Whew!* Just needed to blow off some steam. My physician totally made me feel about 2 feet tall today. For all of you who have navigated the super strict insurance world of trying to get approved for Lap Band, you know one small mistake or overlook can cost you months of set back time. And I had the nerve to try to make a cumulative visit to the doctor's office today.

My insurance is HARD to get to pay for lap band. And yes, Doctor, I realize I "qualify" on weight alone and you also think Im a fat ass and could benefit from surgery, but that doesnt mean insurance will agree with EITHER of us! Hell, if the only requirement was a BMI over 40, I wouldnt NEED your approval. All Id need was a scale!

Id appreciate it if you pulled your head out of your ass and gave me the time of day for 10 minutes. Ive been researching for over a month what my insurance requires of you...and it is more than you saying, "yah...she needs it." And I dont want to have to wait 30 days every time we need to tweek something because of consistant denials!!!

If you arent someone Im sleeping with it takes a lot to hurt my feelings. But congrats Primary Care Provider. You succeeded. If we werent already 2 months into the 6 months of "supervised wieght loss" I would dump your ass. And dont think I wont the second insurance approves me. You are clearly too busy and popular to be bothered by the likes of me anyways so apperently I am doing you a favor.

Lauren Ashli



  1. YES!!! I get this totally! My PCP put me in a real funk when I went to talk to her about it. Basically told me it better be my last resort and it could kill me and beyond that all she was willing to do was refer me to someone else. Our values were not inline so I went to the FNP and she was amazing! Wrote me the letter I needed, talked to me about her daughter losing with LapBand and how it saved her life, reassured me about surgery, made me think about it and bring in a list of reasons, my own personal health assessment and talked to me about it again...awesome! I can't wait to share this journey with her now. :) Hang in there...the insurance hoops can be a real drain but you will get through that part and on to the next phase of your life soon enough. :)